The other morning I was approached by a man at the gas station who wanted a cup of coffee and asked me if I could spare some change to help him get one. When I gave him the money I looked at him, but then I saw something else. Over his shoulder I locked eyes with a woman standing beyond him who was giving me a look of absolute disgust. It was obvious she held me in contempt for giving the money as much as she did the man to whom I was giving it.
My rule about giving handouts to people on the streets is they have to ask. Either silence or words written on a piece of cardboard will not do. But, when I am actually approached by a person with far less than I, I really feel it’s a duty to respond in some meaningful way, if at the time I have the ability. The reason? I feel the condition of my heart is being tested.
I know the clichés about not encouraging them and what they really want the money for. But I know just as surely that there are some instances in which these old saws do not apply, and I, for one, am unable to sort them out based on this criteria. I have neither the knowledge nor the insight necessary to determine what events in their life led them to be where they are today. More importantly, however, I know that in my life there was a time when I was very much in need of the assistance of others due to circumstances absolutely beyond my control, and I am eternally grateful that they were there when I needed them. I often think about what if, for whatever reason, they had not been? The answer is simple. I too could have easily slipped through the net and found myself on the street.
A good thing about an experience like this is the tremendous appreciation it gives a person for those in their life who are actually willing to stand with them in tough times. In fact, there probably is no better way to find out very quickly who your true friends really are, and perhaps more importantly, who isn’t. I found that the vast majority of people have a tendency to flee from people in need. Unless they can see it placing them in an advantageous position in some way, that is. Few and far between, however, is the person who will actually take of his or her time to be of some practical assistance. And fewer and further between are those who will not only help, but also abstain from the temptation to either take advantage of or stand in judgment of the person they are helping, if not both.
Many, if not most, people who have been forced to succumb to adversity against their will already feel like, and in a tangible way probably also actually believe, that they are losers, regardless of what may be the objective truth of the matter. Therefore, such people do not need to be told so. Additionally, many people who are down and out may not have arrived there necessarily because of alcoholism, drug addiction or mental illness. In many cases it’s conceivable that they became alcoholics, addicts or insane because they got to where they were, only to find nobody left in their lives willing to help. Consider how many of us would not eventually resort to taking refuge in one of these forms of relief, were we to find ourselves living under a bridge and begging for food without any hope of ever being restored to a normal life?
When their lives are viewed from this perspective, I for one become very thankful even for little things I enjoy that they do not. I am thankful for the shower I was able to take this morning, the clean clothes I was able to put on, the breakfast I ate in a local diner and, yes, even for the cup of coffee I could afford to buy. Although I have faith that such amenities will continue to be available in my life, that faith is coupled with my knowledge that circumstances could quickly reverse to take away what I have always taken for granted in the twinkling of an eye. “Impossible,” you say? Ask the millionaires who jumped out windows to their deaths when the stock market crashed in 1929. Were they able, might they tell us, if it happened to them, it can happen to anyone?
But that’s not the end of it. Consider this. What value is my faith that such a fate will never be mine, if that faith is not manifested by my actions? That is why, when a person tells me that he is either hungry or cold, I feel I must send him away with more than just some platitude about how I wish him well, when it is within my ability to help him or her in a meaningful way. So far as I can tell, Jesus never did. When people approached him with problems he never just walked away saying, “I’ll pray for you.” He always seemed to have the time to restore sight to the blind, mend the cripple, feed the hungry and comfort the lost and forsaken. Could it be he was setting an example for the rest of us to follow? Maybe, and you never know ... when we are asked to show hospitality to a stranger, is it conceivable that we actually could be in the presence of an angel who is only asking for a cup of coffee … to test the condition of our heart? If so, isn't that a test you would prefer to pass? I do, if for no other reason than we have been informed that whoever has the world’s goods, and sees someone in need and closes his heart against him, the love of God does not abide in him. And really, when you think about it, how convicting is that?
© 2006 Clifford C. Nichols, Esq.
Cliff Nichols is an attorney practicing criminal defense in Santa Monica, California. He may be contacted regarding this editorial at either (310) 917-1083, cliff@cliffnicholslaw.com or www.cliffnicholslaw.com and you may join his blog at www.thedailystand.com.