One might say that the times in which we are now living are confusing.

The warrantless wiretapping of American citizens is now O.K. they say, if it is done to protect our democracy from terrorists who would threaten things like our right to be free of unwarranted government intrusions upon our privacy. That’s O.K., there are worse things that could happen. Look at Europe. Their democracy is in an upheaval that would seem to be moving it quickly toward becoming a unified Arab nation. Other than for the shortened life-expectancy of some Dutch cartoonists, however, it may be too early to tell if that’s a bad thing. After all, are we not dying and killing in another Arab nation for the purpose of instilling in those people a love for the democratic process? Never mind that we’re outraged at the Palestinians for recently embracing that very same process to elect flagrant terrorists to become their leaders. Maybe John Lennon was on to something. Didn’t he suggest in one song that we imagine whirled peas? Or was that world peace? Whatever... Perhaps we should give that a try – just so long as while we’re at it we remain steadfast in our condemnation of people like Pat Robertson who want to avert wars by assassinating the leaders of some nations – you know, like those who only claim to be exercising their right to free speech when they tell the world over, and over, and over again that they really do intend to nuke countries like Israel off the face of the globe sometime soon.

After all, tolerance and compassion for all is mandatory we are told – except apparently on those occasions that we decide it’s necessary to torture somebody in the interests of national security or to rid ourselves of unwanted children. Hey, but that’s O.K. Our society as a whole is making demonstrable progress, evidenced by the fact that cowboys that herd sheep can now proudly be gay. It really doesn’t seem to matter anymore that cowboys used to be defined as boys that dealt in some way with cows or that people who deal with sheep have for centuries been referred to as sheepherders – who, by the way, have always been considered suspect to some degree. Talk about social progress. At least now we are able to understand why some housewives are desperate.

Speaking of progress – coffee is now a good thing once again, so long as we call it by some other name and forgo the whipped cream. Science has enlightened us. We now are all aware of the fact that anything we consume that is white -- like rice, bread, potatoes and cocaine -- is bad for us. Take cigarettes, for example. By now, everyone knows they represent the worst evil mankind has ever known (even though cigars remain trendy). That leaves us with meat, vegetables and sex. But sex and meat are also dangerous today, so that leaves us really only with vegetables. Perhaps that is one reason mankind as a whole seems to be drifting toward becoming more spiritual yet not religious, whatever that means.

Meanwhile, blacks and Hispanics are fighting and killing each other in our jails on the basis of race and we are told by some that to separate them until things calm down would be unconstitutional racial segregation. What are we supposed to do with that? Isn’t the constitution a living document capable of adapting to the times? So, why isn’t it adapting now to enable common sense to both save lives and be considered legal at the same time? Perhaps Al Gore has the answer. But even if he did, would it really matter if, in the final analysis, we are not able to garner Jimmy Carter’s support for his solution? After all, just look at all the negativity that has happened to our world as a direct consequence of the Clintons’ decisions in the 2000 presidential election to not support Al when they had the opportunity to do so. Had they chosen to do the right thing, one might reasonably ask whether global warming would be the problem some say it is today. If just that one malady had been averted, just think about all the catastrophes we might have avoided, like Katrina, the tsunami, Paris Hilton and, most recently, the Philippino landslide. One can only imagine the havoc that could be wreaked upon mankind if Jimmy Carter were to make a fateful error of judgment similar to that of the Clinton’s. The potential catastrophic effect would be unpredictable. Our ozone hole could conceivably be ripped a new one, possibly creating a magnetic field that would, in turn, redirect an asteroid on its way to France toward Hollywood and in one fell swoop end for all eternity our ever getting to see another re-run of Law and Order, CSI in the-metropolitan area-of-your-choice or Seinfeld. You talk about the end of civilization as we know it.

But we have more important things to worry about than that, do we not? Our borders must be secured to protect our homeland we are told, except in the case of those who simply wish to immigrate here illegally to take our jobs or sell narcotics to our children. But, what the hey? At least what has always been good in the past for the goose now seems to be good for the gander as well. Billboards are now appearing in our border towns warning our country’s sexual deviants traveling south that Mexico disfavors pedophilia just as much as the country they are leaving in order to practice their proclivity. Doesn’t that just make you want to say, “God bless globalization.”

So, where does all of this leave us? You never know. The way things are going, could we soon expect to see someone wanting to award the Pearl Harbor tourist concession contract to a Japanese firm? No, even in the state of confusion the world now seems to be in, that’s just too far-fetched, isn’t it? That would be like someone wanting to give control of all our major ports over to an Arab company just so some Muslims will like us while we find ourselves needing to bomb some of them. I take comfort in the fact that at least there are few things we can sleep well knowing could never happen no matter how confusing the world seems to be getting. I hope you can too.

© 2005 Clifford C. Nichols, Esq.

Cliff Nichols is an attorney practicing criminal defense/entertainment law in Santa Monica, California. He may be contacted regarding this editorial at either (310) 917-1083, cliff@cliffnicholslaw.com or www.cliffnicholslaw.com and you may join his blog at www.thedailystand.com